The Secret
by Iglika
Summary: Zee&Ro story. Zee has a secret. Can he still keep it from Ro? Ro also has a secret to tell him.
1. Chapter 1

3

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Zeta Project'. I do not own any of its characters. I deeply appreciate Robert Goodman as the creator of 'The Zeta Project' and all 'The Zeta Project' team. So it's just a fanfic.

As English is not my native language, I want to thank TeaYami for her editing help on this chapter.

In this story Zee has a material covering over his synthoid's body. More details about this idea, you can find in Chapter Three of book 1 of my fanfic 'You Need Me".

The Secret

By Iglika

Chapter One

**Zee's point of view **

The water wasn't the thing, which separated us now.

There was something invisible this time, but it was so hard for me to deal with it.

Ro wasn't in the damaged submarine at the bottom of the reef anymore.

I went out of the water as well; I climbed up and into the car and Ro drove us away from the marine center, away from Bennet…

The water was not separating us now.

But I kept feeling that Ro was still so far away from me…

This time it wasn't just one of our adventures, so easy to forget.

Of course I would try to forget Bennet and the coral reef, the submarines and all what happened under water.

I'd also try to forget Bret and the way Ro flirted with him.

But I couldn't forget her words.

They wouldn't be so deep stuck in me even if they were engraved on my metal chest.

It was worse.

They were engraved on my heart.

'You are the third wheel.'

It was something… hard… deep inside me, something, which clouded my perceptions, which changed the way I looked and perceive the world around me and every single thing, which happened.

I couldn't be angry at Ro; I had no right to even be offended.

But I was.

I was hurt.

I wanted to get rid of that feeling, but I couldn't.

If Ro didn't believe that I could be her kind one day, if she didn't want to support my hope about it, if she thought that there was no chance for me to have the right to be beside her, then why…why we had to remain together? Just to be her substitute boyfriend till the moment she'll find the real one?

And why was I so human, why had I all those dreams, all those feelings, why was I able to love her if I can never be a real living man…

I didn't blame anyone, I knew Dr. Selig would answer my questions, but I couldn't find him yet and I didn't know if I would even find him at all.

What had I to do? Just to carry on with the life I lived now? Of course I would keep taking care of Ro, but…I loved her, I really did.

That didn't mean anything.

I was confused. I was perplexed. I was in despair.

Where can I run and where can I hide from my thoughts?

How can I make Ro accept my heart, my soul and everything I am, and what I have to offer her…

I couldn't ask her, she never wanted to talk about her feelings and she never wanted to show them to me.

She already missed me.

There was a wound in my heart.

Would I ever remain different and never become a real human?

Why couldn't I be there, where she was?

Why am I to be just the third wheel?

I was sitting on the driver seat, but I didn't drive. I even hadn't inserted my wrist cable in the control panel of the car. I didn't take my eyes off the road in front us although I had turned on the autopilot, but aside of this I was sitting absolutely immovable, because…

Ro slept in my arms.

Lately she had gotten used to sleep on my shoulder, wrapping her arm around mine as if she wanted to be sure that I wouldn't disappear in her sleep.

_I wouldn't disappear, Ro, I would never leave you, no matter what we would face on our way, but will you leave me?_

She sighed in her sleep and she moved a little bit.

I relaxed my grip for a moment, waiting for her to find a more comfortable place on my shoulder, then my arms slowly, tenderly, but very tightly wrapped themselves around her again.

And I detected how she cuddled against me even more.

Was it an answer to my hug?

I couldn't help but let my fingers caress her shoulders.

Slightly?

No.

I couldn't hide from myself and as she still slept, I was unable to stop my fingers caressing her with all the passion I felt.

I looked at the rising sun there, on the horizon, on the edge of that huge plain.

There was something regal and at the same time something frightening in this golden-red ball of fire, so enormous, so strong and…so alone…

Like me.

The sun was strong.

Like me.

The sun was able to be tender.

Like me.

The sun was important for every living being on the earth, nothing would survive without the sun.

As Ro wouldn't without me.

But the sun was alone.

Like me.

The sun didn't fear anything.

Like me.

But the sun was scared from that loneliness.

Just like me.

In the beginning of our time together, my only fear was that Ro could be hurt or even worse, could be killed because of me. The fact that I was innocent didn't matter, the agents shouted at her just as they shouted at me.

And now, without being able to stifle that fear, I had another one.

To not lose her, if she would ever find her real boyfriend.

I kept looking at the rising sun.

That was strange.

In the past, humans, in their concepts, had made the sun as a symbol of royalty.

And humans had made me as a creature much more strong than them. I could rule over them if I wanted to. But I didn't want to rule over them. I really wanted to be peaceful. And my dream wasn't to rule the world, but to be loved by the girl I loved.

Funny?

Stupid?

Foolish?

Maybe.

But that was me.

Only…

It was too risky for anyone to look too long at the sun and no one could come too close to the sun, because it was dangerous.

And it was the same with me.

Despite my human appearance I was a synthoid, I was a machine, I was a weapon.

How could a tender, fragile, tiny girl like Ro, how was it possible for her to love a weapon like me?

How was it possible for a human being to love a robot?

Impossible.

Forever?

to be continued…

Please, please review.


	2. Chapter 2

7

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Zeta Project'. I do not own any of its characters. I deeply appreciate Robert Goodman as the creator of 'The Zeta Project' and all 'The Zeta Project' team. So it's just a fanfic.

As English is not my native language, I want to thank TeaYami for her editing help on this chapter.

In this story Zee has a material covering over his synthoid's body. More details about this idea, you can find in Chapter Three of book1 of my fanfic 'You Need Me".

The Secret

Chapter Two

By Iglika

**Zee's point of view**

The warm sunlight slowly touched Ro's face and when it reached her closed eyes, she woke up.

Ro smiled at me as always when she saw me, then slightly she slipped out of my hug and she stretched herself, closing her eyes to the new sun.

"Good morning, Ro." I said with a smile, kissing her gently on the cheek and then, very tenderly, I kissed her on the lips.

"…'morning, Zee." She answered me with a smile as well, but when she opened her eyes, after she drew back, she didn't look at me. She kept looking at the road and the huge plain around us.

She wasn't obligated to kiss me back.

Or even to look at me.

Was she?

Of course not.

I tried to hide my feeling of insult.

I turned to look at the road as well.

I turned off the autopilot, I put my hands on the wheel and I began to drive.

She allowed me to kiss her, she allowed me to kiss her on the lips; she allowed me to behave as her boyfriend.

But if I was her boyfriend, then why had she had a date with Bret?

Because I was just a substitute.

I was just a substitute for her boyfriend.

Something more than nothing till the day when she'll find her real love.

I was built like an Infiltration Unit who had to substitute people and I was so good in that, that no one was able to notice how fake I was, so obviously, even if she made it none intentionally, the truth was that she took me just like a substitute for a boyfriend.

And maybe that was why I felt so alone.

Even when we kissed.

Maybe she was glad I was beside her, but only as if I was a magazine or a game she entertained herself with, while she waited for the real man to come into her life.

Would she say goodbye to me for the third time?

And would it be forever?

Would she leave me?

Did I know her? Was I able to know her as deep and well as any real living man could know her, could understand her and love her?

I wanted to be her reason to live.

As she was mine.

But what would she say if I tell her I don't only want to become her kind, but also want to marry her and spend my life with her?

She didn't say a word about her feelings, ever, she didn't say _'I love you, Zee'. _

We merely had continued our way.

Day after day, night after night, we kept traveling, running from the NSA, searching for Dr. Selig, for Ro's family and I kept doing everything for her; I kept surrounding her with my love, with everything I had and everything I was; I kept taking care of her; I kept on loving her.

But she kept saying nothing.

And I kept feeling so sad inside of me, being ready to see her leaving me.

"There is a motel nearby. We'll be there in a few minutes and you'll be able to take a shower and have breakfast." I said hoping that my tone hadn't betrayed the bitterness in my heart.

"No sweat, Tin Man, I know you'll lead me to some good place as always." She answered still looking at the plain around us.

Then she pushed the button that made the roof of the car fold away and she closed her eyes again because of the wind, which fluttered her short blonde hair and she even stretched her arms, keeping them high above her head obviously enjoying the current of fresh air.

'_No sweat, Tin Man'_ she said.

Long time ago I had gotten used to not take her words literally, so I knew already what this 'no sweat' meant, but the name Tin Man had stuck in me, making my sorrow even bigger.

Tin Man.

I knew she put into this name good meaning only, as the Tin Man had a real, human heart, but even with such a real heart he remained metal.

Did she really think that no matter how real I could be inside of me I would forever remain just a metal creation and nothing more? Maybe a very kind and good metal creation, indeed, but just a robot.

Humans were just born and machines were created. No one chose to come to this word, it wasn't a choice issue. But as soon as I was already here, on this world, I had my life to live, I had my decisions to make and even if I didn't know why I was the only synthoid with conscience and feelings, I had life in me, I had these feelings, I had human emotions and they were a part of me, I couldn't reject them, I couldn't ignore them, I couldn't stop them. And they wanted to live. I had hopes, I had dreams, I had sorrows, I had worries and I had happy times and bad times, I was alive, I was a living being and I had a thirst for life.

How many times had I spent my sleepless summer nights on the balcony in our hotels, looking at the sleeping houses all around, looking at the quite, black windows and the slow dance of the wind in the sleepy leafs of the sleepy trees? I detected the fresh air and the fresh wind, but I wanted to breathe in it, I wanted to have lungs and I wanted to feel how the air would fill my lungs. There was some wild will of living in the night summer air and I wanted to experience that sip of life, that wild wish to live, to love and to be loved.

I wanted to experience the whole fullness of life, the whole thrill of love, everything, which a human being was able to experience – sad or happy, bitter or sweet.

I was in love and I longed to be loved.

I knew Ro liked my human appearance, she liked my blue eyes and my black hair very much, my square chin and my broad shoulders, but was it enough as all this was fake? I had my material covering under my hologram, which made me quite real, but still, was it enough?

My personality wasn't fake, my thoughts, my likes and dislikes, my moods and most of all my feelings weren't fake.

But was it enough?

Was I her hero, not only because of our adventures, not only because of the fact that I saved her and all those people in need we had met, was I her hero, the knight, who would win her heart?

I was unable to stop hoping that…

Maybe…

One day…

She would love me too.

As deeply, strongly and as devotedly as I loved her…

No.

I was just a substitute.

A substitute.

I was just a substitute.

I was a substitute of her family.

Now I was a substitute of her missing boyfriend.

That was all.

Yes, she needed to be loved.

She deserved to be loved.

But why had I kept imagining that she needed my love, that she needed me?

I turned the car out of the main road and into a dust road where I stopped the car, and I jumped out of it.

Maybe it was something almost childish, but I couldn't stop myself from not doing that. I just didn't want Ro to look at my face, as I was so disappointed and insulted, as I was so certain she would leave me. Maybe not now, as she had come with me and not with Bret, but someday, somehow she would find another Bret.

I was unable to throw away my hurt feelings, the way I felt useless, meaningless, needless, unwanted, unloved…

I was afraid that she would be angry at me, but I really couldn't stop myself. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide from her and at the same time I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to stop keeping this pain in me.

She had jumped out of the car running after me. She had insisted looking at me, she held my shoulders forcing me to turn around and look at her.

"Zee?"

I couldn't resist.

Even if I had to face her negative answer, even if I had to be scolded by her, I couldn't resist the gentle insisting of her hands.

And I turned around to face her.

She was so kind with me, even tender and maybe loving…

But was she sincere? Or was she just avoiding entering again into some deep explanation that I was nothing but the third wheel?

She wasn't angry at me, her light blue, beautiful cat-shaped eyes looked at me with so much concern.

"Zee? What troubles you? Please tell me, Zee!"

I left all of my tries to hide my pain anymore. I had to tell her. I couldn't keep it inside me anymore, I couldn't, no matter what her reaction would be, I had to tell her.

"Am I just a substitute for all that you want, Ro? Please tell me, am I a substitute?"

Her tiny blonde brows frowned, "What substitute, Zee? I don't get you…"

"A substitute of your boyfriend, a substitute of the one who'll love you and who you will love for real, a substitute of the one who will marry you. Am I just a substitute of all this for you till the day when you'll find your real love?"

"What are you talking about? I had never thought about you as a substitute of anything! Well, of my family of course, but not as my boyfriend!"

"Then why did you have this date with Bret? Why, Ro?"

"Oh, this!" She smiled somehow ashamed, she avoided my eyes for a second, still smiling, then she looked back at me, "I'm so sorry I did all this, Zee! It wasn't fair toward you! It wasn't fair at all! And it wasn't because I wanted to leave you or to insult you, it was because I was terrified of myself that I had fallen in love with a synthoid. Just try to understand me, maybe I'm the only human being on this earth, who has a synthoid as her boyfriend. Don't take me wrong, but it's a little bit creepy. "

"But I want to become human, Ro, I really do and I'll do everything to make it!"

"And what if you would never make it? What if it wouldn't be possible at all? I had to decide if I can remain with you even if you wouldn't be a human for all of your life."

"And you decided that I'm just the third wheel?"

"Zee, please forget about it! I merely tried to convince myself that I can't have a synthoid as a boyfriend. But the date with a real guy was just a new poof that it's useless. Now I'm sure that I wouldn't exchange you with someone else only because he's a human and you're not!"

"So…no matter what…you…you really…"

"Yes, Zee. Come here." She said with a smile opening her arms to hug me.

I made a step toward her and hugged her as well.

"Ro, I'm so sorry. I really don't know you as much as I would like to know you. Please forgive me that I doubted in you and that I thought all those foolish things."

"It's okay, Zee! It's okay! You know what?" She didn't slip out of my hug this time, but she pointed her finger on my chest on that place in the left where a human's heart was supposed to be, "I'll tell you a secret!" And she smiled, a little bit slyly, pressing her finger even more to my chest. "There is something, which can keep the real love fresh as anything else – the wish to know better and better the one who you love! A human's heart is so deep, so endless, you like something in the person you love and you want to know more, and more, and that leads you closer and closer. It's like a place with too many doors, which you couldn't open all at once. You'll open one of them, then the other one, and the other, and you wouldn't stop till the end of your life. I know this, because you're surprising me that way. You have a human heart, Zee, and I would like to know you better, more and more each day, I would like to find new secret place in your soul. So if you want to discover me more and more and if I want to discover you more and more, it doesn't matter if you'll become a real human or not, you are real enough for me and I really love you, Zee, I really do."

She looked at me quite seriously and somehow defenselessly, she wasn't the lively, sarcastic girl right now; she was a tender girl who had confessed the secret of her heart.

Slowly and gently I hugged her tighter, I kissed her and it was a long kiss this time.

I really didn't know her as well as I would have liked to, but I would open those doors toward her soul more and more each day, because I wanted to keep our love alive. Forever.

The end

Please, please review!


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